Communication can be hard in a relationship and you may not always be able to tell her how you are feeling. With these 8 tips you can start to open up to her.
Whoa. You never thought it would happen, but you’ve found someone you love going on dates with. She’s pretty, she’s cool, she’s funny, and she’s smart. So you better get this right. Relationships are scary, and starting to open up to someone is terrifying.
Communication is the key to any good relationship. This is something you’ve undoubtedly heard before. But if you’ve ever had a relationship go south in the past, you might be afraid to open up again.
There are some surefire ways to make it easier to open up to your significant other and make them know that you care.
9 Tips On How To Open Up
1) Listen More Than You Speak
While we will add the caveat that of course this advice does not always apply to every situation, listening to your partner instead of blabbing all about yourself will help you to learn to engage with them. When you’ve trained yourself to actually listen to someone, you’ll learn who they are.
The more comfortable you are with someone, the easier it will be to open up to that person and to trust them.
2) Be Empathetic
Oftentimes, something that people appreciate above all else is empathy. If you’re being empathetic with someone, you’ll begin to understand them on a deeper level and feel more prone to opening yourself up to them.
And just how can you practice being more empathetic? When someone is telling you something, hold back on telling your own similar story right away, immediately giving advice, one-upping them, or asking interrogating questions. Above all, never dismiss how that person is feeling.
It’s also important to remember that if you’re going to open up to someone, you want them to be able to open up to you, as well, so being empathetic can foster both situations.
3) Communicate Without Your Words
Sure, communication is key. But that communication is not always verbal. As you know, we manifest our moods through body language, tone, and facial expressions. Keep your body language open – if you’re sitting with arms crossed, hunched over, it’s not going to be easy to open up to someone.
You can also communicate by actually physically giving something to the person you care about. Needless to say, that person will feel loved and appreciated, and your connection with them will grow.
4) Stop Over-analyzing
You’ve probably realized by now that no couple has the perfect relationship. In order to be able to open up to someone, you can’t sit around wondering if every little step along the way isn’t what was supposed to happen.
Over=analyzing will make you miserable, and make you wonder if you should open up to your significant other at all. You have to let things happen naturally in order for them to succeed. If you scrutinize every single interaction, chances are, you’re not allowing things to take place naturally at all.
5) Combat Your Fear Of Rejection
Think about it: why is being open so scary? It’s because we can be rejected once we’ve decided to be open. It’s difficult to be verbal about how we feel, and if the person on the receiving end doesn’t react the way we’re looking for, that makes us never want to open up again.
To open up to someone, you can fear what the outcome might be. If you’re always living in fear, you’ll never open up at all. Take small steps to get there, and slowly build up into expressing the deeper feelings and opinions you may have.
6) Be Direct
If you’re beating around the bush to try to communicate with your partner, then you’re probably not really being open at all. Don’t be afraid to directly state what you’re trying to say. In the end, that’s going to yield much better results than dancing around the topic.
Even if the initial steps of explaining what you want and what you feel may be difficult, the end result is worth it. If your partner can’t listen to what you’re trying to say, you may have more quickly discovered that you’re not a proper match than if you’d delayed out of fear.
7) Tell Them Exactly How You Feel
Yes, this goes along the lines of being direct. But if you’re truly afraid of opening up, why not tell your partner about it? When you verbally tell her that you struggle with being able to be open, she’ll recognize that you’re working on your problem.
When your partner is aware of the fact that it’s difficult for you to be vulnerable, they can help you through the process. Communication is a two-way street, and both people need to be vulnerable for any communication to be successful.
They’ll be happy you trusted them with the information, and who knows, maybe they feel the same way and you can work on it together.
8) Seek a Professional
If you think you need help from a professional to heal past wounds and begin to open up to someone again, a therapist, a counselor, or a psychologist might be able to help. It’s not a bad thing at all – it’s a good thing.
The choice to seek help is an admirable and brave one and can help to fast-track you on your journey to being able to let someone else into your life. Talking to someone who has been trained to guide people on how to open up can provide you with the skill set you need to maintain a healthy relationship.
9) Get Out There, Get Proactive
There’s no one out there that can create the perfect relationship for you: you have to do it yourself. Be sure to express yourself to your significant other.
Everyone wants a healthy, lasting relationship. If you’re able to open up and communicate with your partner, you can be well on your way there. Everyone will ask you what your secret is, and you can say – communication. And some really good anniversary gifts.
This article was provided by Eternity Rose, who wants you to never forget an anniversary. Written by Dr. Carissa Coulston.