Death is extremely difficult because it involves the very real and painful loss of a loved one. When we lose a spouse, sibling or parent, our grief can be very intense. Although loss is understood as a natural part of life, we can still be overcome by shock and confusion that leads to prolonged periods of sadness or depression. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time goes by, but grieving is an important process in order to overcome these feelings and to continue to embrace the time you had with your loved one. Responses to death vary greatly and are often different for each individual. People use personal coping mechanisms for grief. Research shows that most people can recover from loss on their own through the passing of time if they have the support of others and healthy habits. It can take months or a year to come to terms with a loss--there is no “normal” time period for somebody to grieve. Another layer is added to the grief if your relationship with the … [Read more...]
Helping your Child Through a Traumatic Situation
After a traumatic event like severe weather, a terrorist attack, an act of domestic violence, a car accident, a death in the family, and the list goes on... everyone is affected, even our children. One could say, especially our children. Traumatic events threaten everyone differently, but children are particularly vulnerable to the emotional and psychological effects of trauma. How do we help our children after they've been exposed to trauma? Here are a few important action-steps that we can take to help our children (kids and adolescents) through a difficult time like trauma: Remind and reassure them that you are going to do everything you can to protect them. Encourage them to talk with you about how they feel. Often, when children are faced with trauma, they begin to act younger (AKA regression)—hoping to revert to a happier time—and parents need to understand this is a coping response. It's easy to get upset and tell a child to "act your age" but parents should instead … [Read more...]
Facing Forgiveness: The Boston Marathon Bombers and Gone Boy: A Walkabout
The dreadful bombings on the finish line of the Boston Marathon, April 15, 2013, in which three persons died and at least 183 were injured calls to mind another senseless tragedy. On December 14, 1992, Wayne Lo, a student at Simon’s Rock College in Great Barrington, Massachusetts, went on a shooting spree in a psychotic state. He subsequently told psychiatrists that God had commanded him to carry out the shootings. When it was over, Lo had killed a professor, an 18-year-old student, Galen Gibson, and wounded four others. The Boston disaster appears to have been perpetrated by Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, a 19-year-old college student and his brother, Tamerlan, 26. The younger brother was shot in the throat and could not speak because of injuries to the tongue and it was unclear when he would be able to speak again or when he would be charged. Tamerlan died after a shootout with police. Wondering how to process the shocking disaster, one can consider the way that Gregory Gibson, father … [Read more...]
Dealing with the Trauma of the Boston Marathon Crisis
The events that have unfolded in the past few days have caused trauma to us all - to those in Boston and to those all across the United States. What was a lovely spring day at the Boston marathon turned into a traumatic event. But how do you heal from these events? When an individual undergoes a trauma, each component of their ordinary response to danger continues to occur in an altered state for a long time after any actual danger is over. Individuals experience profound and lasting changed in their psychological arousal, memory, cognition, and emotion. For a long time after the trauma occurs, the individual does not feel safe. These symptoms you feel could include: intense fear panic disorders anger depression loneliness flashbacks attachment disorders loss of control helplessness Sometimes panic, anger, flashbacks, and anxiety may contribute to these symptoms.Traumatic reactions occur when the individual is exposed to a situation that … [Read more...]