Boston Anger Counseling, Overcoming Anger, Controling your Temper, Overcoming Rage

Therapy for Anger Management at Thrive Boston

anger

Maybe it happened at work. Maybe it was at home or in the gym or with friends or on the road. Someone did something. The anger rose and flowed. Wild and hurtful words poured out. Objects were thrown or torn or trashed. Rude and vulgar gestures were made. There was no violence—this time. When everything settled, regret and tears flowed. Promises were made: this will never happen a gain. But it does.

Do you recognize this cycle? Anyone who struggles with anger or who loves someone who struggles with anger will. It is a common cycle, and anger often feels like it spins people’s lives out of control. However wild and unwieldy anger feels, people are still responsible for their angry actions and words. People can control their anger, but they often need to be shown how.

Do you recognize this cycle? Anyone who struggles with anger or who loves someone who struggles with anger will. It is a common cycle, and anger often feels like it spins people’s lives out of control. However wild and unwieldy anger feels, people are still responsible for their angry actions and words. People can control their anger, but they often need to be shown how.

Anger: Definitions and Key Thoughts

Anger is a powerful emotion.

  • Anger ranges from being frustrated to severe fury. It can last from a few seconds to a lifetime.
  • One is never "wrong" to feel anger. What we do in our anger determines whether or not we are wrong.

Anger is best understood as a state of readiness. It is a natural response to a real or perceived injustice inspiring a powerful alertness that allows people to defend themselves or others.

Anger naturally quickens people’s thought and response processes. But other emotions often lie just below the surface of anger—possibly fear or sadness or guilt. When people feel the first twinge of anger, they need to slow down, implement healthy coping strategies, and ask themselves, “what else am I feeling right now?”

Expressions of Anger

Anger always finds an expression. Most people are familiar with the wild rage of anger, but the feeling is often a constant companion. Anger can express itself in many ways:

Repression— to deny anger’s presence. This is unhealthy because even though it may not be observable, the anger is still present and turned inward.

Suppression— with suppression, people redirect anger-driven energy into healthy or unhealthy behavior.

Expression— healthy expression involves gentle assertiveness; unhealthy expression involves aggression that hurts others.

Action Steps and Tips to Overcoming Anger:

"Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way—that is not easy."

—ARISTOTLE

Anger often feels like it is in control, but the goal of anger management therapy is to reverse that dynamic. People can control their anger. It takes work and intentional effort, but it is possible. Here are a few strategies:

1. See It

  • List known triggers and sources of anger.
  • Until you can control the anger, avoid triggers as much as possible.
  • Identify angry feelings while they are still minor.
  • Be aware of physical changes—these are warning signs (e.g., Rising heart rate, tensed muscles, dilated pupils, clenched fists, flared nostrils, bulged veins).

2. Delay It

  • Take a “time out” from the situation (20 minute minimum).
  • Perform light exercise until the intensity of anger is manageable.
  • “Write, don’t fight;” This exercise is personal and writings should be kept private, not sent.
  • Talk with a trusted friend who is unrelated to the anger-provoking situation: Don’t just vent—ask for constructive advice.

3. Control It

  • Respond, don’t react.
  • Confront to restore, not to destroy.
  • Empathize (yelling is a failure to empathize).
  • Learn how to self-calm. Calming will help you let some of your angry feelings subside before expressing anger in a healthy way.
  • Talk to a counseling professional, find an accountability partner, or join an anger management group.

Scheduling Therapy for Anger Management

Looking for Boston Anger Counseling? Let's talk. Call Thrive Boston Counseling at 617-395-5806.

Nervous about calling? You can also email us at support@thriveworks.com Be sure to include your phone number in the email so that we can call you back.

When you are ready to reach out, we are ready to help. New clients often meet with a counselor within 24 hours of their first call. We also work with many insurance providers and accept many insurance plans. We do not keep a waitlist, but we look forward to talking with you.